


ningen. (human.)

by Yui_Miyamoto



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-27
Updated: 2004-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yui_Miyamoto/pseuds/Yui_Miyamoto
Summary: This is a dream-like fic in which an angel helps Hyde to regain his wings as a fallen angel.
Relationships: Hyde/Sakura (L'Arc~en~Ciel)
Kudos: 1





	ningen. (human.)

** Disclaimer: L’arc is L’arc. I just wanted to write something to show my appreciation for them, especially Hyde-sama.  
  
**   
In a condemned building where no one goes to anymore, it’s been abandoned because people think that there’s a ghost haunting it. I laugh at the thought because maybe all they see is me going up and about the place. All I do is walk around the hallways with my occasional walks up and down the spiral staircase at the side of the building, which has six floors.  
I have a white dress that goes down to my ankles. My hair’s so long and wavy that sometimes it gets caught on the ends of the staircase railings, pulling me back as if the building doesn’t want me to ever leave. Not that I want to.  
  
I don’t want to ever leave.  
There is nothing for me out there now…  
  
I want to scream because there’s nothing but silence.  
I sometimes want to grab my head and make sure that it isn’t only because there’s something wrong with me.   
  
For how can I be in the middle of a city and it’s completely quiet where I am?  
No one touches the building and I don’t want them to.    
  
No, only one person can enter this white asylum I’ve exiled myself to.  
  
The mirror that’s been left in one of the rooms is now only half there. I’ve broken it little by little. I scrape at it when I’m bored because there’s nothing much to do around here. All I do is wait and wait.  
  
But there was a time that I smashed through it and now my hands hold nothing but glass pieces in them. I didn’t notice them on my feet when I started to bleed.  
That’s the only way that I know that I’m still alive.  
  
That I’ve not died yet.  
  
Living here, though, this is no different.  
  
I put my hand on the black railing and walk up the spiral staircase in order to get to the roof. This is my favorite thing to do. I sit on the middle of the roof and look at the stars because they’re so beautiful. I pretend that each of them has their own name and their own colors.  
They are my friends. As far away as they are, I point at them and we talk, even though I only imagine their voices if they ever talked back to me.  
  
There’s no one to hold onto. Nothing to be with.  
No one to become.  
  
And yet, I still wait here.  
  
Once upon a time, this place used to be a park. When I was a child, I’d come here to play.  
Everyone thought I was strange because of my raven hair and my pale, pale skin. Then, as it absorbed the sun, I changed the color of my hair to be in between the color of the sun and the color of darkness: Light-brown. It grew so long because he told me to grow it out.   
  
I was looking through my telescope. I looked up to the sky even though people told me not to put my head up in the clouds.  
  
“But that’s where I want to go,” I told them, whomever asked me.  
  
They’re all just nameless faces with no distinctions among them. They were all the same to me. They went about their business in the world as if the Earth was the only planet in the solar system.  
  
Someone came up to me and wanted to look through the telescope with me. He was a handsome man who always wore a white shirt and black pants. He didn’t seem to age through the years. He always looked the same even when I grew from eight to twelve to thirteen to sixteen…and now, twenty-three.  
  
He wouldn’t tell me very much but we kept on talking about the stars and what they might have truly meant, if only people could look past all the scientific crap. Some things weren’t meant to be looked at as they were.    
They were only to be interpreted with your heart.  
  
It was a dark, dark night with no moon out. When we last looked at the stars, this building had been erected and we somehow snuck in to watch the stars from the roof. He stood and pointed up with his finger towards a star that was barely a dot of fire.  
It almost looked like something that was a speck of dust on my telescope.  
Then, he began to say,  
  
“When we fell from heaven, was there any warning of things to come? People keep on searching through relics and all that stuff that’s supposed to describe the ‘past’, but you know what? They didn’t know that you and I were the same when we all started out.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I blinked at him as he smiled at me while reaching out to touch my cheek.  
He never touched me before and it felt nice, but strange.  
  
“People scraped off their wings to walk. They liked it here. And some went back because they couldn’t handle it.”  
  
I shook my head because I didn’t understand. Even though I had talked to him all these years, this was the first time we couldn’t find common ground.  
  
Sliding his hand to the top of my head, he ran his fingers through my hair. Then, he smiled as he took off his silver cross necklace and gave it to me. He put it over my head and placed it on my neck, shining like a star had fallen out of the sky. It was that bright.   
  
“ Why are you acting like you ’ re going to say goodbye, Sakura? ” Holding the cross with my hand, I shook my head as tears came to my eyes.  
  
He shook his head. “I can ’ t stay here. ”   
“Why? ” I began to cry, grabbing onto his white shirt with my fingernails pushing straight into my palms. They began to bleed.  
  
Lowering his head, he kissed me on the forehead and as if in a dream, feathers appeared. His wings spread out, but the white had turned into dark, black feathers. I didn ’ t know what was real anymore …   
  
As I blinked my eyes, things were becoming blurry as if I were fading away from consciousness.    
He whispered into my ear,  “ I came here to teach you how to fly again, Hyde. ”   
  
And when I woke up, I was in my bed.  “ Was that all just a dream? ”   
From that time on, I packed up my stuff and lived in that building. I waited and waited for him to come back to me, and my heart ached. It was a childhood dream that I took for granted.  
I thought he would always be with me.   
  
“ I don ’ t know how to fly!” I told the sky.  “ I don ’ t understand! ”   
  
Now, I remember him all over again. Sleeping under the stars, tears fall down from my face. I get up and in this darkness, I begin to sing. I sing and sing until my heart is full of all my memories, both the sorrow and the joys that passed through me.  
  
Then, I walk down the steps and outside of the building. I slowly step towards the cherry-blossom tree and put my hands on it while pressing my forehead onto its trunk.  “ Sakura … Sakura … tell me where to go. ”   
  
It is then that the wind blows and I take up the only bag I packed and go out the front gate. In the middle of the night, I leave while making songs in my head and writing on pieces of napkins.  
  
So that I won ’ t forget you,  
I ’ ll make all the songs I want.  
I ’ ll shine from one side of this Earth until the other    
  
and beyond.  
  
+/+/+/+/+/   
  
I kept on singing with all the songs filled with all my bitterness, love, pain, and passion. With all my smiles and my cries, I was able to reach more than I had ever expected.  
  
And through this, I was able to remember the days before I came into the world.  
  
Yes, we fell to Earth at different times, and I chose to walk. It was much more difficult than I expected, but it was fun, Sakura. There were many things to touch and to feel and you can ’ t do that when you ’ re flying and watching over everyone and everything.   
  
I hated not being able to touch and feel anything.    
That ’ s what you don ’ t comprehend about me.  
  
I may only be able to get so far with my feet, but through my voice …   
  
I ’ ll fly as far as I can go.  
I’ll touch a place no one ever can.  
  
Isn ’ t that what you meant, Sakura?  
That ’ s what I want to believe.  
  
Even when I feel like my hands are tied behind my back and my eyes are blindfolded, I can still speak and sing what ’ s deep inside. No one can stop the heart and its words. Painful as they are to hear, I can touch the silent people ’ s hearts with the honesty that I can ’ t hide inside myself.  
  
Their broken hearts and dreams…  
They can be recreated.  
  
That’s what I learned when I became human.  
  
 **Owari.**  


**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why, but I had this stuck in my head and it finally came out to be written.  
> It’s a strange, dream-like doujinshi-type-ish fic, but it’s what I’ve wanted to write for a long time (even though it’s only Hyde-sama and former member, Sakura-san). Since Hyde-sama loves to write about angels (me too), I thought I’d make something to that extent. And, I wanted to write how much inspiration he has given me through his singing and L’arc.


End file.
